Not every changes are for the better

When I read Yusof’s review on Dr Spencer Johnson’s “Who Moved My Cheese” recently, I can’t help reminiscing on my first reading of the book a few years ago. The book, thin as it was, with simple characters and simple words used, has helped in stating the obvious to many – yours truly included, on the way the world has always operate. The world changes (the old cheese will run out and everyone have to look for a new cheese), and we need to change with it; to adapt to changes quickly and adjust accordingly.

Sadly too many people end up stuck, trying to solve new problems with old methods, becoming too problem-oriented rather than solution-oriented. And when everything fails to work, they whine, grumble and blame others – wondering who moved their cheese. The winners though, didn’t just sit back and complain, but they moved as the cheese moved. They realised what used to work well yesterday, might not work as well tomorrow. So they change their strategies, change their routes, change themselves as the constant changes around them took place.

Looking from that perspective, changes seem a good thing. However, just like Yusof reflected upon – not all changes are positive, not all changes could always be considered improvements. When a certain change occurs, it is up to us to determine whether it is a good or not-so-good kind of changes. Sometimes, we do need to be resistant against certain changes and not always change as the world changes.

When I attended Bon Odori Festival in Shah Alam not so long ago, I noticed many brought along the whole family to enjoy the festival. It was the first Bon Odori festival I attended and I took Kak Ham along mostly to enjoy good and cheap Japanese food, as well as enjoying the ala Japanese summer ambience. There we were, happily making instant collection of plastic Japanese summer fans with various labels, bought some Japanese ABC (shredded ice with red beans and green tea syrup) and roasted corn on cob. We even bought some mochi and dorayaki on our way back home – two most popular Japanese wagashi (cakes/dessert) around here (perhaps with some help from the ever popular Japanese cartoon character – Doraemon).

After we finally selected a spot facing the podium in the middle of Matsushita Sports Complex, Kak Ham and I soon found ourselves surrounded by members of another family, the youngest of them some teenagers and the eldest, a frail grandma who might be in her 70’s.

Kak Ham was totally appalled by the rude way the grandchildren behaved towards the weak grandma – how they never respected her wish not to try out some new food. She was old, she was entitled to her own opinion, but the grandchildren practically shoved down some weird looking stuff down the poor grandma’s throat.

“Jom balik,” she asked right after I returned from praying Maghrib in the small and crowded surau. I agreed.

It was when we were on the car that Kak Ham let out some steam about the mean grandchildren she just witnessed.

“They had no respect at all for the grandma. She had told them that she didn’t want to taste it – so why can’t they leave it at that? Why can’t they respect her wish? Whatever happen to the culture of respecting the elders?”

Hmm, I supposed young adults today are becoming highly adaptable and could adjust well to changing environment pretty fast. I supposed some where along the line, they have forgotten that some values and cultures of respecting the elders are for keep and not to be compromised. I supposed since they can adjust and change often, they presume everybody else – frail grandmas included – can do the same without any problem. I supposed along the way, they have forgotten that grandmas are not their peers who they can treat lightly. Grandmas are often more sensitive and easily hurt than mere peers.

But I supposed they just think that grandmas too should change as the world changes. Which may not be necessarily true. Some changes are good - but not every changes are for the better. Grandchildren for instance, should remain respectful - even if they have differing thoughts and opinions - to the elders.